We might better title this essay Friend or Family. But then, that would be rather tacky.
Yet, the Word tells us that’s exactly how we need to view our friends and family.
Proverbs 17:17 tells us:
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.”
Let’s look at the last half of this verse. What exactly does the phrase “a brother is born for adversity” mean? Are we to understand that a brother will always rub us the wrong way?
Different commentaries have vastly different opinions.
The Benson Commentary says that our relations are here to comfort us in our adversity.
Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary tells us that only Christ can be a true friend.
Barnes’ Notes on the Bible says that a friend becomes a brother in adversity.
Matthew Poole’s Commentary suggests we are reborn into the role of a brother when adversity comes our way.
Cambridge Bible for Schools and Colleges says it like this: A friend made in the time of adversity becomes closer than a brother.
There is another way to read Psalms 17:17. It’s in the admonition spoken by Jesus.
Matthew 13:57 reveals his thoughts to us.
“But Jesus said to them, ‘A prophet is not without honor except in his hometown and in his own household.’ ”
It’s yin and yang. Friend versus foe. Me against you. Contention between the people closest to us. Often we find support in our friends, even as we fight at family get-togethers.
We want to cast our family aside. Truly. Dump them on the side of the road, because our friends love us better.
1 Timothy 5:8 tells us differently.
“But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
The reality of our lives may indeed be that we need our friends to support us, because we find only foes in our family. However, we cannot cast our family on the trash heap. They are ours, regardless of the adversity they show to us.
Perhaps Friend or Family is the best title for this essay after all. Our friends are great for our ego, and we need them around. Our family is who we are, and we need them even more. They are the ones who will stand beside us when all others fall away, even when we rub each other the wrong way.
We can love our friends, but our true strength comes from our family.
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Code: FGO.H.03.15b.vp.esv